We are all one year closer to our death

Ugh. I know, I know if I eat things I am allergic to its obviously going to make me feel like poop. So that’s how I feel, but really I have not had Oreo cookies since the end of Gr.12 and I don’t even remember the last time I had tasted white chocolate. Long story short for the last three days I have been eating large servings of white chocolate and Oreos now I feel sick. My new game plan is to write myself a note from myself to future self begging the person not to eat things she knows she is allergic to but gets fed up with in hopes that they will go away and some odd sort of sadomasochistic relationship she has with herself. It’s my birthday on the 7th, I hope I have a good day and don’t sit in my room in the dark and cry my face off like last year.

As for New Years eve my cameras batteries died so there are no photos from that, but worry not I robbed my vibrator of its life *tear* and put those batteries in the camera so I could take some photos of the food Yuki made on New Years day. So that night (12.31.07) I went over to Yuki’s around 10pm and we had some Soba noodles before heading out to a temple about 25 mins away. Must I add Mr. Kaboda drives like a crazy race car driver, although a lot of the Japanese do too. The temple was on top of a small mountain about the size of Bear Mountain (all the mountains are about that big). The temples name was Dragon Fountain. I got to ding a big bell twice, I was number 10 and then on the way out they did not tell me what number I was. They do this for getting rid of like all the desires people have and there are suppose to be 108 of them in total I think. I also made some wishes and Yuki bought me a stick I have to burn next New Years she never really told me why but I burn it next year. I also had a fortune bought for me my Mr. Kuboda but I drew the fortune. Yuki told me that we are all one year closer to our death and laughed hysterically about it. Yuki said it was medium luck so that is good; hopefully medium amounts of luck happen. She was deciphering it and she also said that it said I might get married and have a baby. Excuse me while I throw up. I never want to get married and I never want to have my own baby. The world is over populated and I think I would be to mellow dramatic for a baby or irresponsible or. I mean the thought of actually considering a parasite in my uterus is incomprehensible so I have denounced it to being that I never want to have one since I can’t even think of it. I’ll just borrow other people’s children or get into community activities with children if I feel the need. I also feel some what odd about the fact that I basically lie to people when the topic of future babies come up and getting married as soon as you say at my age that you never want to get married or have children you (I) feel ostracized. Or people just assume I will change my mind, I highly doubt that…I’ve felt this way since I was born. I have just come to true terms with it. I mean I have tried to make myself want one in the future but no. It makes me feel disgusting. I would probably be one of those ladies that has one and feels no attachment to it. I would eat my young. OTHER then the fact that I’m veggie.

Oh yes back to new years. I also met Yuki’s Mother who could not tell if I was a boy or a girl but that’s okay. Being androgynous in life makes things so much simpler and less pathetic. After the temple we went back to her mothers and had some mochi and some sweet bean soup stuff (mochi was in it) and some green tea. It was good and tradional, they could not tell me why though. I was then dropped off at my home and I went to sleep. The next day I came over to the Kaboda’s around lunch and we basically sat around doing nothing but eating food. The food is all prepared so beautifully, very aesthetically pleasing. I also met her daughter and her husband and her little 7 month old boy. Somehow his hair naturally grew into a semi-limp mow hawk which is pretty sweet. There are photos on face book you can check out. So yea not to much happened but it was nice. My tattoo is flaking and my room is a mess and my dishes are a mess and it’s all disgusting so I think tomorrow my arm will be decent enough to take on some pick up and the dishes possibly. Well actually no they need to be done. Today I was suppose to meet Kazu in Namba at 12 noon, she did not show up. I stayed waiting for her until 12:25 and I was early like usual so that I would be late so I waited for about an hour. She e-mailed me and said that she arrived at 12:30. I hate when people are late, and she always is. Oh well whatever so I went wondering around America Mura town which I had not checked out yet. I bought a pin and a pack of postcards by international and national Japanese contemporary artist Yoshitomo Nara. If you read Juxtapoz you’ll know who I’m talking about. I was uber excite because I’m into his stuff. Everyone wish me a Happy Birthday on the 7th of January. I will be 20 years of age! No longer a teenager. I love you