Damn frogs (not the French...I miss the french language honesty its comforting)

There was a lot of rain on Saturday throughout the evening and well into Sunday morning. This I believed helped all of the frogs eggs mature quickly and last night they were all crocking and calling all night long. To add to the noise there have been crickets creaking rather loudly for the past 2 weeks at night, so it ended up being some odd indistinguishable cacophony. Perhaps, I’m hoping the frogs will eat all the crickets and I will be ride of that problem. I tried ear plugs when I first went to bed but ended up waking up for the 3rd time and having to remove them due to pain. Ear plugs make the tunnels of my ears really sore, I know your not suppose to put them that far in but if I don’t they fall out very quickly. So I was up for about 2 and half hours trying to get back to sleep until eventually I just passed out from being so very tired.

I will most likely be tired today and I should go to the store buy some groceries, wash my mouldy smelly ass dishes. Too I have to go see one of my tutors to help me with nihongo (Japanese Language) and then head off to work. Gosh I have not even been up for half an hour and I am already tired. I just can’t sleep in past around 7am.

Yesterday I went to an Ikebana festival (flower arrangements) in downtown Osaka with the other international students from the university. Jacqui (new Australian teacher) also came along with us. I like her she is really funny, kind of reminds me of my little sister because she has the same colour hair mostly and complexion and such. I was able to try making a very basic flower arrangement. It would have been better if the lady helping me did not have fetid breath, seriously all I could think about was how to avoid it and try and breathe “fresh” air. Brought back memories from Gr.1, journal writing, where my teacher would be leaning over my shoulder trying to help but just had the worst breath and I could not concentrate on the work. Peter a man that works at the university, translated what she was saying. I’m glad it did not take too long, maybe 15 minutes, so I got out of it quickly.

After that finished some ladies grabbed me by the arm and hulled me off into the hall way…I thought I had done something wrong. They insisted that I stand up on stage and be a model for various styles of kimonos along with some other international students that I did not know. I am glad that English is a lingua franca because I am bad at Japanese and learning language at any rate. So a girl from Thailand, India, and China could all speak English (pretty well for what we talked about). There was also a girl from Indonesian and possibly a Korean girl…I did not talk to them. Anyway we went on stage during a presentation about the different style kimonos they use during plays (and in real life) and the masks they use and how you can tell which mask represents which. It was fun, other then the fact that it was rather hot in the building and thus added to by being on stage with a heavy styled kimono wrapping on under the lights.

After that we went and had a cup of tea that came along with the various activities during the festival. Due to the fact that I announced my nationality on stage another fellow Canadian student ended up semi coyly following us into the tea room and sitting down and introducing himself. His name is Kyle he goes to UNBC in Prince George but is originally from Fort Nelson. I was surprised to say the least. I usually meet (if any) Canadians that are from the East side. He came to lunch with Jacqui the Korean students and I, although I did not eat because of the lacking of diversity in menu options. After that we headed towards the station to go home (Jacqui, Kyle and I). He exchanged numbers with Jacqui and we will probably see him in the future.

It seems that most traditional styles of Japanese art forms are very formal and have many strict rules. I don’t care for it. Anyway I am tired and want to stop thinking insofar as I am….or possibly am not. Nicole comes on June 19th I am so excited. Oh and one extra added not, it gets dark her very fast by 8pm at the latest its very dark outside. My body is so not use to that and feels weird. I wish I was not missing the long days in Dawson Creek. Oh well, I just hope I will be around D.C for summer solstice, but who knows since I want to go travelling more. I’ll see thought it really just depends on my cash flow and savings. Well talk to you all later, loves.

Mmm Fresh Hand-Picked Strawberries!!!

Today I totally did not want to go to classes; was in one of those moods. It slowly dissipated and went by quickly, the day that is. The best part of it for sure was the fact that I was invited out to the garden that I helped plant strawberries in (earlier in the trip). So I got to eat the best strawberries I have had this entire trip! Mmm I have started exercising again and its making me feel better, particularly in mind. I need to force myself to constantly stay active, seems I get rather inactive every winter season. I don’t care about gaining the weight as much as I care about how it effects my emotions or chemicals in the brain. Definitely I become depressed, could also be a sun thing.

I hope it is sunny tomorrow. I will be going out to visit a lady, she is 28 years old, that I met randomly in front of Kinki University on the way to work over a month ago. She is really nice and had recently lived in the USA, where she happened to be converted into a Christian. Snicker….she talks about finding god a lot which is good for her and nice to see how it can so positively affect someone’s life, and she is slowly learning more and more about heaven. All I can do is smile and nod. I myself do not find Christianity not to be for myself, nor has she asked my why I am not but…I would rather not disclose and bring up a possible debate. As for other religions such as Islamic and Muslim and Hinduism, it’s because I don’t really know about those ones and have never been invited by anyone to try; via how people often throw various forms of Christianity into your face by different scenarios in life.

Speaking of scenarios I had a dream I made it back to Canada and totally felt a longing for Japan like I was missing something. Though if I remained in Japan as a permanent resident I know I would miss Canada way more. Either way I think it will be sad, most sad of course if I never came home. I take a deep breath. Mr. Otha wanted me to read a novel by a Japanese writer (‘A wild sheep chase’ by Haruki Murakami) so I did, I have finished it and recently started reading ‘Lord Jim’ by Joseph Conrad. He told me in a tone that I could just tell was not impressed and that I should be reading Japanese books while I am in Japan. Such as this book of Genji, which is supposedly the longest book ever written; it was written 1000 years ago by a female novelist. So not interested, it’s about someone’s life, the entire thing. Its about 13 books long, took a person 10 years to translate into English. So anyways not interested, I think too much is lost in translation.

Well that’s my random little blip for the time being, I will write for you later (you being someone…I hope…..other wise writing this is completely pointless for me)

Speachless...well almost...

Yum, organic peppermint tea to sooth my throat…it is not sore really but I have basically lost my voice today. I became a touch ill on Monday but just brushed it off as allergies and then did nothing but watch movies and try to recover. I pulled myself together and went to my classes and worked back to back. That’s when my voice started to go… I have never really actually lost my voice before. Once when I was little and I was camping I ended up half losing my voice but ended up more rather like Fran Dresser’s.

Its weird not having a voice, I kind of like it but it’s starting to hurt or feels like some pressure is built up. Oh what else sucks is you can’t say “Thank You”, well I tried but it really would not come out well or loud at all. It was kind of funny when I think about it. I’ve been going on an ‘America’s Next Top Model’ marathon or watching. I can’t believe I am coming home in less then 3 months…it’s almost all I think about now. Well not all the time but when I am out and about I am trying to take it all in because I won’t be here much longer.

Crazy that this adventure will end, it really scares me. It may sound funny but I am excited and not terrified just flabbergasted that I will get to fall into the sky. Fresh air and camping! So excited! Anyway…I still can’t talk…maybe tomorrow?

Ha, oh yeah I have a blog to write in!?*

So all my company over the last one and a half months has come and gone. Mother came from March 16th until the 30th and then Eileen and Cara came from April 3rd until the 30th. I can’t believe it all went by so fast. I must admit I am extremely grateful for my mother coming first because I admit I was a little rusty on my people skills from being a loner for so long. I probably was not the greatest hostess for her but I love her so much and am sorry for any time I was anything less then pleasant. Which was often, so please forgive me and sorry Mummy; as for Cara and Eileen I think they enjoyed their time mostly with me I mean I have my “quirks” for lack of a better word and other then trying to get them to not eat meat in my apartment and turn off the lights and gas I think it was not to annoying for them. Now they are gone.

I must admit I think I am going to have to get use to that alone thing again. It won’t be as bad as the first time because well I should be use to it, but I can totally feel the lack of like “magic” around. It’s just like me and I realize what a head case I possibly turned into. I have decided that I can’t drink while I’m alone, I just get pissed drunk and that’s not good for multiple reasons. I will drink if friends are around me the entire time. Oh and yes I have set a date to come home. Which seems so final…I have to leave Osaka, Japan (possibly forever) on July 31st.

What kind of sucks about the time I have to leave is, I was under the impression that I could stay at least a week and some after school ends which is on July 29th (the last test). So when I asked what the absolute latest time I had to leave was, they told me July 30th. Which kind of pisses me off since Blake (last year’s student) was allowed to stay for an extra week and a half. It might be for other reasons then a degree of acceptance for the exchange student…but I don’t know but I have made myself feel like they are slightly prejudice towards me. Tattoos and all and lack of Japanese friends and heavy school involvement, what can I say. I’m a longer at heart.

Oh and how my heart ached when my Mother left, it too ached when my friends left but…my heart broke. Ha my eyes are watering. Really though it was a broken heart letting go of my Mother and having her leave. Okay I have to stop talking about this is like breaking my heart all over again. I miss my Dad too I had this dream I came home. He was not excited for me because a different family member was there and I was so devastated and upset that the feelings shock my mind to insofar that I woke up on the verge of bawling but quickly regained composure as it was only a horrible dream.

I want to try and keep better track of my dreams as they are very vivid but not to the extent I know they can get when I am constantly putting them down on paper. I have a new art class every Friday, which I will go to today and that is good it nice to get to be a touch creative again. The university will take more photos of me today. I think its because the first ones they took were “unusable” as my tattoo was showing. They did ask me to dress in bright summer clothing though and all my bright summer clothing has short sleeves. I was also told that I need to cover up my head with a hat or a bandana to hide my tattoo and keep all of them hidden for that much. So I’m a touch unsure what I will wear that is summery. Oh well. I should cut this off now and get ready for class. I will keep this updated again I promise…thanks Kalen Ravelli for reminding me I had one!

nothing and nonse...sleep need sleep/protien?vitamines?

I have been rather sleepy these last couple of days; I suppose it does not help that I cannot sleep in past 7 am for some odd reason. I have been dreaming about being home for the last two nights. Today my favourite teacher hung out with me for 5 hours, I ate lunch at her house and just stayed for the rest of the time. Its nice to hang out with someone, seems all the people I hang out with are quite a bit older then I am, older then my parents.
I find it’s easier for the Japanese people to find meals that are compatible with my diet then Canadians which is nice. Too I don’t feel like that much of a nuisance. Ugh I am tired…I think it’s my diet I have been getting fat. I am starting to exercise and eat better I hope that that will help…I did not eat very healthy today because I ate too much of things. Tomorrow is a clean slate, I don’t want my visitors to come and be like ‘Damn Justine you got squishy”. Wish me luck!

Tomorrow I am going to learn ‘Saddo’ which is the way of life that the tea ceremony promotes. Ugh I am trying to write in this but I have hardly focus I feel half brain dead or something. Note I should make sure I eat protein…anyways I will post this boring ness and hopefully write something better later. Loves you!

Canadian Ryori (Canadain Cuisine)

So I found this awesome website with many good films and documentaries about random things. I have been watching a lot of UFO ones, it’s interesting I don’t see why the US and UK government just doesn’t give the world the okay to tell the citizens about the other alien life. I wonder if an alien would ever want to visit me, I think it would be scary but very interesting and a wonderful experience. I hope they would be kind to me and respect my body/mind rights ha-ha; definitely not into vivisection or dissection of my body, although if I had to choose I would do with the dissection for obvious reasons. I wonder how the aliens fly across space from different star systems…or if they are future people. Well other then watching documentary’s today I cooked for a group of ladies.

I was picked up around 9:30am and taken to some sort of community center on the opposite side of the nakai train line (the train station I use to get into namba). I made my mothers favourite vegan dish, its name is ‘Kieran’s Favourite Rice” and it’s kind of like a goulash/stew. It’s very delicious and a complete protein because there is brown rice and beans (also tofu). They all seemed to enjoy it, I stressed that they can use whatever vegetables they want for the recipe which makes it quite easy to make. All of them said it was delicious so that is good. I also told them about Canada and a little big about me, some of the ladies spoke English so they could translate for me…no I’m still unable to speak Japanese. I mean I can tell them who I am and where I am from and what I like but I can not elaborate. I also gave them all little Canadian flag pins, I hope they are not like ‘oh great more junk’ and make the recipe again for their families. Around 1:30pm I was dropped back off at home. Before I left the center a lady handed me an envelope and thanked me. When I got home I opened it and there was 70,000 yen in it. I would have refused this if I knew what it was but I thought it was a thank you card. The Japanese rarely take charity for anything. I mean I never once was thinking ‘I hope I get money out of this’ it was just for fun. It’s nice to have extra cash though so I can’t complain there.

Speaking of extra cash I have taken up a tutoring job. Michelle has left Japan for a new job experience and I took over her tutors. They are 4 grown professors, so sometimes I feel a bit odd instructing people who are greatly my senior. The first lesson went okay I did not really teach anything only spoke and had conversation with one of the men. This last lesson was more successful as all 4 of the men showed up. I did a pronunciation exercise with them and also taught them homonyms that begin with A. I think every lesson I will teach a new homonym group. Homonyms for those of you who do not remember grade 5 English class are words that sound the same but have different meaning; such as Air and Heir. So that went well and they are all nice men, very interesting characters. They also pointed out that their university will be changing its name do to how it sounds to foreigners who speak English. I was confused on why they would do this until they directly told me why, you see the university’s name is Kinki University. They pointed out to me that if I ignore the knowledge I have of the Japanese language that Kinki sounds exactly like Kinky. I was oblivious to this fact until they pointed it out to me. Now I realize how funny it can be or annoying when introducing yourself to another professor in the USA. I think they want to change it to Kinda University. Oh yes and every class I get paid 10,000 yen. So that’s really good money that’s an extra 40,000 yen a month, I don’t think I will need to dip into my savings for a while. This is good so I will not have to worry about money with friends or helping friends out with expenses!

Well I am going to continue watching my UFO documentary and maybe make some hott cocoa with Soymilk! Love you all! Take Care!

Awaiji Island....I have great spelling....?

Stars shinning bright above you, night breezes whisper I love you…. Ha I had a dream that my family came to visit me in Japan last night in the hotel. They all ended up getting mad at me for some reason though and I was upset that they came to bash me. Apprehensive about company maybe or getting to comfortable with the Kubota family it’s hard to say. Really thought I am joking. This weekend or rather Friday around 11:30am until Saturday around 3:30pm I was with Yuki and Akio on the Island Awiji (I’m not sure if that’s the correct spelling or not). Oh and Yuki and Akio want me to call them Otosan and Okasan which is a formal way that you ask someone “how is your mother” you would say ‘Okasan and not Haha because haha you only use if its your mother). Anyways they want me to because it seems more comfortable and such and all the other exchange people they have helped out called them that. I don’t feel comfortable saying that because well my parents will only ever be the only parents I have and I don’t like the thought of imitation ones. I mean I do the same thing with my Grandfathers second Wife. Jade call’s her Grandma but I just call her by her name. I mean she is definitely that type of figure in my life but it feels wrong for me to call her that. Does any body understand what I mean? Ahh anyway back to my type adventure. Friday night we did not do too much me and Yuki went for a short walk into the resort’s golf course…although we like snuck through an opening in a gate by a bush/tree line. So we were being sneaky there will be some photos up on facebook soon of the trip. It was a good laugh the walk. Then that night Akio had a meeting and Yuki and I ate in a tiny little dingy restaurant but the cook was really nice and talkative so what can I say, too he had a friend who was vegan and completely understood my diet. Then later that night we picked her husband back up and we chilled in the hotel room until 11:30ish having some wine and junk food. We went to sleep then…took me a while to fall asleep though like normal. It was different since the room was actually warm I was too hot-ish rather then being to cold and trying to fall asleep.


The next morning we woke up at 6am so to sneak me into the bath house. I have to sneak in because Tattoos are a huge no no due to the fact that is highly associated with the Ikuzi (or something like that) gangsters. She discreetly gave us two definitely not big enough bandages for my “fashion tattoo”. Luckily the night before I bought a case of large band aids to cover my tattoo and we had two of the other band aids that the receptionist gave us the night before when we were inquiring. Unfortunately this was not enough to cover up all my tattoos. We were also told that if the two band-aids that she gave me did not cover up my tattoo (all the tattoos) I would not be aloud in. So we went up and I started changing and luckily, even though most of my dragon was covered in band aids I had a towel hung over my shoulder, she came in to check where my tattoo was! And she helped me place the band aid on my Hess tattoo…which hid it perfectly. So she was none the wiser and content. Or so I thought, about half an hour later when Yuki and I were chilling in the dry Sauna she peered in threw the door and like waved to us, another check up. Again though I was covering my left side with a towel flung over. I did not expect them to be so intense about it…I’m thinking it’s not worth all the effort. It was fun though me and Yuki being kind of dorky bad asses and breaking the resorts rules. Too this was the nicest resort I have ever been to. I was on top of one of the hill/mountains and had a beautiful view of the straight.


After we finished up with the bath house we packed all our things up and left. We dropped Akio off for his meetings and then Yuki and I went to view some WHIRL POOLS! So cool! Although we were not on a good day for when the tide changing into the Pacific Ocean from the straight makes really big ones but we saw a bunch of little ones. It was really crazy and weird you could also see that the water level was higher in the straight then the pacific so there was a little bit of a shelf...of water…so weird and cool! I have about a million (probably unrecognizable) photos of them. After that we went to an art museum, which was really neat but not the art pieces were not the originals but many many famous ones from different periods around the world. So that was fun to look at and see how big they really were. All of the reproductions were done on ceramic plates (not plates but like flat slabs and such ness). We wondered around there until about 12 when we had to go pick up Akio. It was a really beautiful trip once we were out of Osaka, and then out of Kobe and onto the more rural forested island. Definitely never want to live in the city when I’m older. Oh and on the way back Yuki took me to the largest tomb in the world for one of the 5th century Emperors of Japan; although the land is owned by the countries royalty so ‘normal’ people are not aloud to wonder around on the grounds. It’s surrounded by one moat and some land and then another moat. The inner most land has not been touched so there is a 1500 year old forest sitting on it. The forest must have some pretty amazing trees in it. Here is a little photo of it I quickly found on the net.
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en-commons/thumb/7/74/180px-NintokuTomb.jpg (copy and paste if it does not work)
There is a little tan slit among all of the green near the bottom middle (before the city) area of the photo and you can walk half way up that sandy patch before you get to a gate and the first moat, to see a little sliver of the forest. The trees looked like fluffy broccoli.
Yea and so now I am home and really tired but that’s a summery of how my day started so I am sleepy and my room is disgustingly messy. I hope nobody randomly shows up…hopefully tomorrow I will clean it. Anyways I love you guys and miss you all!

Loners Rule

You know you’re cool when you hang out alone in your apartment on a Friday night, which I usually do. Although the last couple of Fridays I was hanging out with other people so now it seems somewhat boring and lonely. Anyways to continue where I left off from my last entry on Monday I went with Michelle to another university where she teaches 4 men, older professors English. I will be taking over for her starting on Valentines Day. I am a little nervous but she says they more just want someone to talk to, so I hope I will suffice and be useful. Too I never asked how much money they will pay me so I hope to find out with in the week. I hope I will be a good teacher (nervous / what have I gotten myself into face). During the spring break I have class on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday at 9:20 in the morning until 11 O’clock. This is good because then I can still practice Japanese and have time to go do something in the day. Not that I actual venture about too much by myself. I think I will try too….its just scary. Wow I’m a baby.
Its kind of embarrassing when people ask me if I have any friends that I hang out with often and I have to honestly reply ‘No, but that’s okay’. I can totally sense their like awkward pity towards me. I kind of feel sad when I say it too which does make it pathetic. Oh well I’m just looking forward to when my Mummy and Eileen and Cara come to visit me. That will be fun. I mean I do have some acquaintances here and people that insist they are my friends but they would not be there for me if I actually needed them and I only see them like once ever 2 weeks at the very most (the exception for this is if we were friends before and either of us have moved very far away from each other)…so I would not really call that a friend. I could possible just have to high of a standard for what I consider a friend. Anyways I will try and keep things more updated, I was kind of slacking for the month of January I’m thinking but then again I really did not do too much. I love you all!

This is a long one....and I gave up...

This last week I have been rather busy compared to January. Last Wednesday I went to Kyoto with Kazu (the tutor I went with that told me to get on the wrong train with her thus making me lost) and her friend Ayumi. Ayumi also had a guest from Australia who spoke very good Japanese. It was nice to have another English speaker to talk to, although I admit so far in my life every single Australian I have met is quite the talker. Via me for instance would ask this particular girl a random question like do you have a pet? And she could talk on and on without interruption for the next 15 minutes straight. No she rarely asked me questions back. That was a long day and I did not get home until late. I did take some photos but my cameras batteries were on and off dieing so I stopped. I will post them once I venture out to buy new batteries.

On Thursday I then in the afternoon, after classes, went with them to Osaka Castle. We did not get to view the inside of the castle as we came so late in the day so when my Mummy comes I will take her there and we can look inside. Then we went down town to Umeda which is the city center I suppose with the most businesses or something. We went to a restaurant and I ordered some French fries but when they arrived after a small taste observation I realized they were coated in garlic butter (way to make French Fries even more unhealthy then they all ready are) so I sent them back and received plain ones. Too when we were walking around a man that try’s to usher people into his given restaurant (like carnies yelling at you to play their game) made some comment in Japanese that I would have never noticed in a billion years but the Australian girl did. She began laughing hysterically and said that the man pointed at me and said aloud “Is that a gay dude dressed like a girl?” or something like that towards me. Ha, it was pretty funny. Who ever comes to visit me will understand since 30% of the male population dresses insofar as metro-sexual as a “straight” male does and to be shocked that I look like a gay dude in my attire was comical. Being androgynous is wicked. So I got home late yet another night.

On Friday I had classes all day long and I had to take photos for the schools brochure. They wanted to take photos of me talking for some odd reason, I mean why? So that my mouth can be wide open in the photo and look silly ha-ha oh well. I also had to write up a little thing for the brochure. This is what I wrote and Yasuko was supposed to translate it as best as she could.

I think that everyone should be an exchange student at some point in their life. Studying abroad gives you the chance to immerse yourself into another culture. This type of opportunity assists me in becoming a globally rounded person. By learning the ways of another culture you can come to appreciate things that you may have more or less taken for granted. As well you may find some practices that one culture appreciates that you may then want to incorporate into your own life style.

One thing that I really appreciate about the Japanese culture is the extensive ancient history. I am lucky to have a scholarship to Osaka since it is situated near very beautiful historic cities such as Nara and Kyoto. I also very much enjoy all of the different types of pottery used for displaying a meal. This makes the meal more aesthetically pleasing and interesting as my family typically uses matching dishes to present food, which I now realize is somewhat boring. I am learning how to perform the traditional Japanese tea ceremony, and am excited to show my friends and family back home in Canada.

No matter how much I miss my friends and family I would never give up this opportunity to experience another culture, and suggest that if you ever get the chance to, take it!

So that’s my little simple essay thingy they will use. I had criteria I was supposed to talk about. Anyway that night it was Dong Yong’s going away party and I drank for the first time in 2 months and some. It was kind of fun but not super great. I ended up staying up until 4:30 in the morning. This was probably a bad idea because 2 weeks before Yuki had called and told me on the Second of February (that Saturday/Morning) Akio, her husband, would take me to climb Mt. Kongo. I had not heard from her since and she did not tell me what time so I was not sure if it was still on. She ended up waking me up with a phone call at 7:00am 2 and half hours after I got into bed. Ugh, so I agreed I would be ready for her to pick me up at 8 am and at some food and then lied in my bed until she came. Once I was in the vehicle and then on the bus up to the mountain I was seriously kicking myself and thinking “what the heck am I doing, you fool, you should have said you were sick”. I had popped 2 ibuprofen advil though so that I could hopefully over ride the headache which mostly worked. Other then that my stomach felt …well hung over. Once we started climbing it was really fun though and I got the hang of things, it took us 2 hours to get to the top. The higher we went the more snow there was so it was nice. I don’t really remember much because I was so tired it was kind of all a blur but I know it was really fun. I will take Eileen and Cara up the mountain hopefully. It was rather intense of a hike, more then I was expecting…like an A3 or 4. I definitely needed to use my hands at time and pull myself up and if I lost my balance and fell back I most likely would have mangled and or killed myself. We had to where spikes on the bottom of our feet once we got so high because of the ice. It was fun. The only think that sucked is it’s the 2end most climbed mountain in Japan other then Mt. Fuji so although we went up the most difficult way it was rather busy and especially when we got to the top since there are a lot easier ways to climb up. There were really elderly people climbing up the way we went too so that was inspiring makes me feel like I can always be active no matter what my age. So I hope to stay active.

Once I got home around 3pm I crashed into my bed and took a nap from 3-5pm, and took it easy that night. The next day I went to Clive another teacher’s house with Michelle for lunch, we ended up staying until 8pm and arrived around 1pm. It was fun with rather good conversation he was a very knowledgeable older man. He is from England originally. So my accent really sticks out between him and the Australian that is Michelle. Ha this is so long I’m even getting tired of typing. Okay well I will end it here and then talk more about what happened the next day… or well yesterday by this point for me. I love you all so much, sorry trying not to be too boring but I also want to keep you updated out of consideration for my loved ones. I love you all very much, never forget it!

Sleepy Quick

Okay so as some of as you know I was being a bit of weirdo hermit for the last month. I love hermits. I have decided I like being a hermit as I have always known. Anyways I finally got out of my apartment on a Friday night. Even though that made me feel rather anxious…ha. Zan and a couple of his friends took me out to Namba to the ‘Hard Rock Café’ which happens to be more of a restaurant then a bar. Thank gosh. Actually they were not very hard drinkers and I got prizes and it was generally a really great time I suppose. Maybe not great…wow its hard for me to admit I was generally amused. I suppose that’s just the missing part of me. Anyways it one of Zan’s friend’s birthdays the day before, his name is Show. So Zan told the dj person at the café that it was our birthday and they do this big odd birthday celebration thing for this mass group of ppl and you get paraded around the restaurant and then you have to dance to really bad music for like 5 mins…it was awkward and I was caught on a camera phone dancing with a less then half ass attempt. Might I say I know the camera adds ten pounds but the fact that I know I had gained ten pounds in the first place probably did not help for how big I appeared in the video. Whatever all these chicks here are so tiny it just exacerbates what appears to be fat on my body. Ugh so tired…the songs we had to half dance too as they did not play the entire song was the “YMCA” some song I have never heard before equally as bad and annoying, and then “Liv’in La Vida Loca”…it was rough I did my best. Zan also gave me a tattoo book of girls tattoos which is freaking ridiculous as I have briefly skimmed through it with like “stereotypical” looks and some pretty lamo tattoos but I noticed there was a section on contemporary artist tattoos or something…basically I just noticed there is a section with some FAFI tattoos (a French Graffiti artist) so that was sweet. Where was I…I paid 5$ total for my food which was French fries and a non stop sprite (which they don’t ever do in Japan for some reason). So Zan paid for that which was really nice. Which is also good because I thought I had way more money with me then I took, because this morning I forgot I removed a 10,000 yen from my wallet since I was only going to school. Yea so it was not to bad nothing great. I like chilling in my room. I must admit though I was extremely freaked out about going because I was unsure if they would stay out all night but we came back by 11. Although I did not catch the bus back because we rode bikes to the station (thank gosh Yuki gave me a bike) anyway. Yea nothing too great happened. Zan constantly asks me about boyfriends or what I look for in a dude. A vagina. I’m half joking, I enjoy the penis. It really is not about looks it’s more of the personality. Anyway blab blab blab…I’m going to go to sleep. I love you all.

ill...bored...

Uhg, I am ill today. This kind of sucks because I wanted to get out and go and see something this weekend since I have not gotten out much in the last month. Not that I had any place figured out that I wanted to go or anyone to go with but…you know it’s nice to have the option. I am not horribly sick and bed ridden and feeling like I am going to die but I am rather tired and until I took two Advil ibuprofen I had a tinkling head ache, and my nose was running a touch and my chest felt extremely heavy. Yea, for medicine! I talked to my family today so that made me feel a bit better. My room is cold even though I have my little heater on at 24 degrees Celsius…expensive and almost useless. I think they should insulate the rooms a little bit…I mean I think it would also keep the heat out in the summer. Well I don’t really have to much more to say at the moment…maybe I will make a new post later…I was just trying to do something with my time as I don’t feel well enough to leave the apartment or clean it. Huff it even seems like its taking to much energy to type…and I feel a touch intoxicated but that would just be from the Advil as I never take medication and I’m not feeling good…
Love you all…wish me better!

Drive me far...away...just...far away...I dont care where just far

I remember being grounded one summer a couple years ago, well nearly 5 now and thinking that the time was going by so slowly. I was depressed and could not wait until I was ungrounded. I kind of having that feeling now I suppose but it’s a touch different because I can go out and do things. I suppose it’s the lack of having a friend around. My boyfriend of the time had moved away for the summer, and I was not aloud out of the house. I could talk to my friends over the internet but other then that I was not aloud to see them or leave the house. Living in Japan is similar. My choice but similar. I need to get out and go visit some place I have no been to yet, maybe I can ask someone to take me somewhere. I would go wondering off on my own but that is extremely intimidating when alone in an extremely foreign country. I wish I was more adventurous and did not care about getting lost. I mean really I don’t care but ever since that one time I accidentally got lost here and got in trouble for it even though it was an accident I really don’t want to brave all of the train systems and subway systems. I’m more so a hermit in Japan then I was in gr.12. I have slowly become to realize that friendship systems in Japan are completely different from the ones I have in Canada. Friends don’t spend huge amounts of time with each other just hanging out. Friends get together in the city and pay for entertainment, I have not heard of friends coming over just to hang out and watch a movie, or spending mass amounts of their free time with their friends like my group of friends or previous friendships I have had with people. Same goes with boyfriends, they tend just to meet each other in the City and see each other once a week if they are lucky (seriously my tutor sees her boyfriend like once every month and a half because they live so far apart and are so busy). No one just hangs out with each other. Nobody cuddles. I have not seen anyone cuddling, let alone media where people are embracing each other. I have seen some handshaking, no hugging. It’s actually kind of sad. It’s making me kind of sad. I am trying to recycle and have a hug pile in my room right now and I don’t know what to do with it because I don’t know where to bring it to recycle. I had been putting some of it with the bottles at the shopping mart where you can drop off a few types of recyclables but a lady grabbed the ones I put in and threw them into the garbage because I don’t know they don’t recycle them but they have the sign on them. Ugh I wanted to do something but I did nothing. Where do you recycle them, I can find a place to recycle hard plastics, or like semi hard plastics via cookie containers type things. Also I don’t know where to recycle all my soft plastics like bags and wrappings. It’s really depressing since Japan is supposed to be one of the best recyclers. People think I am collecting garbage because they don’t know it’s recyclable. I guess I will just try and not by anything in bags. Or pre-packaged…but that’s almost impossible. Hum…I will find a way. I wish I had a friend here, but I have decided I probably wont make one I don’t think I will get very good at Japanese. Yuki gave me a bike that they “fixed up” I think that meant they fixed the tire or something because the breaks basically don’t work. Like they work 30 % out of 100 I would say. As well I don’t have a helmet and the Japanese are all ready crazy enough drivers that it’s like a death trap. I must admit I feel safer on a mountain bike because I would really second guess if I could take the bike off the curb without it like busting. Uhhh crappy bikes. I suppose I can use it to view the area quicker, but there is always the whole death trap thing about it. I have not even noticed any helmet shops or anything like that anywhere. I don’t even know if my head would fit into a Japanese helmet because as someone pointed out to me the other day compared to her head (the Japanese) their heads are not like round-ish at the back they are more like flat and just go straight into their neck where our(if you have european/african/native decents) heads have a concave part from our neck to the back of our head switching back to convex. Yea so whatever, I should get some of my homework done…it just one sheet but it is due tomorrow. I love you guys. I’m so excited for my visitors. Love you all

Twenty an Adult....

It was my birthday yesterday and I am officially not a teenager anymore I am a young adult. I am in starting my 20's, and I must say there is a slight foreboding of terrifying feelings brewing inside me. This all comes with realizing that my next mile stone other then turning 25 is turning 30 which is a far away but will probably come before I know it (which in a way I hope does not). Thus I know I actually have to make real serious efforts to try and become completely independent financially of my parents, grandparents etc. I have to be completely self sufficient. I mean I don’t have any ambition to over shine my parent’s financial success in life, but I want to at least be comfortable like how they are and seemingly worry free about income. Anyway I suppose I have 10 years to work on all of this, so…I should make a 10 year plan but I know I just at the moment want to save up money and go travelling. I think I will stick with that for now. Growing up is scary and exhilarating.

So if you have me added to face book you can all check out the photos from New Years and what birthday photos I have added. On the 6th of January I went over to Yuki’s for a tea ceremony lesson and then after we went out for a Soba birthday which is traditional Japanese custom on birthdays. Yuki and Akio said that this was the first time they actually did it though. Before we went out for dinner, during the tea ceremony some family friends of theirs dressed me up in a traditional kimono that both the mother and her daughter have worn for various reasons, some also being that they turned 20 years old. It was very beautiful and had a tonne of interesting detail. I was a little worried about how tight it was around my waist because the tattoo was not 100% healed and I did not want to muck it up. We had the tea ceremony and the sensei gave my very own tea ceremony “kit”, or tools and what not. We took some photos and then I got out of the Kimono and we went to the restaurant.


The Japanese restaurant we went to was set up in a traditional Japanese style and is very comfortable and beautiful and plays nice dinner music. We had Nabe first, which is like a universal soup that everyone cooks and eats from. Well you scope out what you want into your own small separate dish and then eat up. They then served more food which was some rice in some soba noodle broth or something, and then soba noodles and dipping sauce and then there was some soba type frozen ice dessert but I could not eat it because there were egg whites in it. I was soooooo full that night from all the food, it was so very good!


Then next morning on my birthday my Mother woke me up at 8am to wish me happy birthday and my family sung to me which was nice but I’m not going to lie I totally cried while they sung it to me and felt extremely sad that I have suck a wonderful family to be so far away from. Ha-ha but don’t worry I’m okay and I sucked it up for the most part and they did not know I was crying until right now. Then I opened my present I had been saving since before X-mas to open and I received a magazine and two books. Then I lazed around my house feeling lonely and sorry for myself until I had to go and get tutored. We worked on my homework and that was the first time I actually did not say anything to the person I was with that it was my birthday. Then SURPRISE at the end of the session Yumi (who was tutoring me) whipped out a present for me when Ayumi and Miku showed up wishing me a Happy Birthday and bearing gifts and cards. So that was a really awesome surprise and then for the rest of the day I was not bummed out. So I paid some bills and bought a tonne of junk food and then chilled at home. Later in the evening Dong Yong dropped of my first plant which is some sort of pink flowering potted plant. So now I have my own pet I can feed my blood to instead of just pouring it down the sink. I also ate my yummy garlic dill tofu dip with some chips with just wrecks your breath for the entire evening or day you ate it. Thus with my luck two boys showed up to celebrate my birthday, and of course I reek of garlic! Whatever though I had meet them once before so first impressions are too big of a deal right? Ha anyways I was super surprised and just kind of like what? But it was nice and they gave me a gift certificate for some ice cream which I can’t eat but gave to Hitomi who also has the same birthday as me so it’s all good. They went out for food and I had tea because I stuffed my face and was full. They are okay, the one boy Zan can speak decent English and seems to be all about punk rock and that jazz. Which is fine but its more of an image I’m getting from him then a life style, to he went on and on about how he likes foreign women and blah. So I somewhat have the feeling that he only wants to be friends with me because I am foreign and scoff look exotic? Or as exotic as a Canadian can look ha-ha. Oh well whatever I think I just need to accept friendship and not trying to figure out the motive behind why a person would actually want to be my friend. I believe it’s because I already have such amazing friends that I hold an extremely high bar that I compare everyone too. So those of you who are my best buddies your pretty cool guys and it makes it hard for me to get to know other friends with you guys in the back of my head being so uber cool.

So yea I feel like I have friends just when I was getting lonely again. Tomorrow is P.E class and I am going to die if I go. My tattoo is not 100% healed yet and I don’t think I can wear a bra yet…but I don’t want to be a little bitch and not show up because of a tattoo that’s almost healed but not quite. Then again there’s the part of me that does not want to screw up $700.00 worth of art permanently on my body. So yea, I’ll tell you what happens with that. I love you guys talk to you later!

We are all one year closer to our death

Ugh. I know, I know if I eat things I am allergic to its obviously going to make me feel like poop. So that’s how I feel, but really I have not had Oreo cookies since the end of Gr.12 and I don’t even remember the last time I had tasted white chocolate. Long story short for the last three days I have been eating large servings of white chocolate and Oreos now I feel sick. My new game plan is to write myself a note from myself to future self begging the person not to eat things she knows she is allergic to but gets fed up with in hopes that they will go away and some odd sort of sadomasochistic relationship she has with herself. It’s my birthday on the 7th, I hope I have a good day and don’t sit in my room in the dark and cry my face off like last year.

As for New Years eve my cameras batteries died so there are no photos from that, but worry not I robbed my vibrator of its life *tear* and put those batteries in the camera so I could take some photos of the food Yuki made on New Years day. So that night (12.31.07) I went over to Yuki’s around 10pm and we had some Soba noodles before heading out to a temple about 25 mins away. Must I add Mr. Kaboda drives like a crazy race car driver, although a lot of the Japanese do too. The temple was on top of a small mountain about the size of Bear Mountain (all the mountains are about that big). The temples name was Dragon Fountain. I got to ding a big bell twice, I was number 10 and then on the way out they did not tell me what number I was. They do this for getting rid of like all the desires people have and there are suppose to be 108 of them in total I think. I also made some wishes and Yuki bought me a stick I have to burn next New Years she never really told me why but I burn it next year. I also had a fortune bought for me my Mr. Kuboda but I drew the fortune. Yuki told me that we are all one year closer to our death and laughed hysterically about it. Yuki said it was medium luck so that is good; hopefully medium amounts of luck happen. She was deciphering it and she also said that it said I might get married and have a baby. Excuse me while I throw up. I never want to get married and I never want to have my own baby. The world is over populated and I think I would be to mellow dramatic for a baby or irresponsible or. I mean the thought of actually considering a parasite in my uterus is incomprehensible so I have denounced it to being that I never want to have one since I can’t even think of it. I’ll just borrow other people’s children or get into community activities with children if I feel the need. I also feel some what odd about the fact that I basically lie to people when the topic of future babies come up and getting married as soon as you say at my age that you never want to get married or have children you (I) feel ostracized. Or people just assume I will change my mind, I highly doubt that…I’ve felt this way since I was born. I have just come to true terms with it. I mean I have tried to make myself want one in the future but no. It makes me feel disgusting. I would probably be one of those ladies that has one and feels no attachment to it. I would eat my young. OTHER then the fact that I’m veggie.

Oh yes back to new years. I also met Yuki’s Mother who could not tell if I was a boy or a girl but that’s okay. Being androgynous in life makes things so much simpler and less pathetic. After the temple we went back to her mothers and had some mochi and some sweet bean soup stuff (mochi was in it) and some green tea. It was good and tradional, they could not tell me why though. I was then dropped off at my home and I went to sleep. The next day I came over to the Kaboda’s around lunch and we basically sat around doing nothing but eating food. The food is all prepared so beautifully, very aesthetically pleasing. I also met her daughter and her husband and her little 7 month old boy. Somehow his hair naturally grew into a semi-limp mow hawk which is pretty sweet. There are photos on face book you can check out. So yea not to much happened but it was nice. My tattoo is flaking and my room is a mess and my dishes are a mess and it’s all disgusting so I think tomorrow my arm will be decent enough to take on some pick up and the dishes possibly. Well actually no they need to be done. Today I was suppose to meet Kazu in Namba at 12 noon, she did not show up. I stayed waiting for her until 12:25 and I was early like usual so that I would be late so I waited for about an hour. She e-mailed me and said that she arrived at 12:30. I hate when people are late, and she always is. Oh well whatever so I went wondering around America Mura town which I had not checked out yet. I bought a pin and a pack of postcards by international and national Japanese contemporary artist Yoshitomo Nara. If you read Juxtapoz you’ll know who I’m talking about. I was uber excite because I’m into his stuff. Everyone wish me a Happy Birthday on the 7th of January. I will be 20 years of age! No longer a teenager. I love you